The B-Word

8 Oct

A few months after GP and I were officially engaged, I told myself that I wouldn’t become that awful B-word that gets thrown around so casually by others.

A Bridezilla.

Source: feministwedding.blogspot.com

*INSERT GODZILLA ROAR* // Image taken from feministwedding.blogspot.com.

Urban Dictionary defines the ‘bridezilla’ as a noun, formed from blending the words bride and Godzilla (Japanese movie monster), used to describe a woman whose behaviour becomes outrageously bad in the course of planning her wedding.

Now for the record, I think I’m pretty chill.

I can get excited, enthusiastic even, but I don’t like pushing other people to do things unless it’s absolutely necessary. For example, if there’s a time-constraint and the task has been put off for FAR too long, I get that shit going. Otherwise, I like people to take things in their own time. To my vendors, I’m clear, concise, polite and always ready to hear their ideas. I apologise if I suggest changes to already-laid plans. And most, if not all of the time, I’m met with equal politeness and sincerity in return. I don’t boss my vendors around, nor do I boss around my fiancé, family, and friends. But when people try to push their ways on me, I can get assertive – while planning a wedding or not.

After musing the last year-and-a-half, I’ve noticed I’ve been pushy to some people, particularly one person specifically: GP. He’s a take-things-slow kinda guy, and I know he’ll sort things in his own time, but there were times I’d be constantly prodding him to do things. And for that, I guess I could be called a B-word. I’ve lessened this, even stopped it, as I think he understands that, with almost three months to go, we need to start chugging things out.

On a side note: Oh my GOD, almost three months to go!!

I don’t ask for assistance much. I’ve taken on the bulk of the planning. GP works, and works hard, and I’m writing a thesis, but when I get the time, I plan the wedding. When I do ask for help, I don’t expect the help. However, when someone states that they will help, and promptly cancels, it can hurt. And hurt feelings often leads to some upset and angry feelings. And ultimately, in the wedding world we live in today, that translates to being a Bridezilla.

But if you think about it, any normal person would feel the same.

So, for all those engaged brides-to-be, here’s my advice. When planning a wedding, and being the bride, you have to find a comfortable zone between assertive and chill. Otherwise, you’re either too assertive and automatically a Bridezilla, or a complete doormat and allow others to control the wedding, neither of which is a great thing!

Personally, I think I’ve managed to find a zone which works, at least most of the time.

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