Archive | October, 2013

The B-Word

8 Oct

A few months after GP and I were officially engaged, I told myself that I wouldn’t become that awful B-word that gets thrown around so casually by others.

A Bridezilla.

Source: feministwedding.blogspot.com

*INSERT GODZILLA ROAR* // Image taken from feministwedding.blogspot.com.

Urban Dictionary defines the ‘bridezilla’ as a noun, formed from blending the words bride and Godzilla (Japanese movie monster), used to describe a woman whose behaviour becomes outrageously bad in the course of planning her wedding.

Now for the record, I think I’m pretty chill.

I can get excited, enthusiastic even, but I don’t like pushing other people to do things unless it’s absolutely necessary. For example, if there’s a time-constraint and the task has been put off for FAR too long, I get that shit going. Otherwise, I like people to take things in their own time. To my vendors, I’m clear, concise, polite and always ready to hear their ideas. I apologise if I suggest changes to already-laid plans. And most, if not all of the time, I’m met with equal politeness and sincerity in return. I don’t boss my vendors around, nor do I boss around my fiancé, family, and friends. But when people try to push their ways on me, I can get assertive – while planning a wedding or not.

After musing the last year-and-a-half, I’ve noticed I’ve been pushy to some people, particularly one person specifically: GP. He’s a take-things-slow kinda guy, and I know he’ll sort things in his own time, but there were times I’d be constantly prodding him to do things. And for that, I guess I could be called a B-word. I’ve lessened this, even stopped it, as I think he understands that, with almost three months to go, we need to start chugging things out.

On a side note: Oh my GOD, almost three months to go!!

I don’t ask for assistance much. I’ve taken on the bulk of the planning. GP works, and works hard, and I’m writing a thesis, but when I get the time, I plan the wedding. When I do ask for help, I don’t expect the help. However, when someone states that they will help, and promptly cancels, it can hurt. And hurt feelings often leads to some upset and angry feelings. And ultimately, in the wedding world we live in today, that translates to being a Bridezilla.

But if you think about it, any normal person would feel the same.

So, for all those engaged brides-to-be, here’s my advice. When planning a wedding, and being the bride, you have to find a comfortable zone between assertive and chill. Otherwise, you’re either too assertive and automatically a Bridezilla, or a complete doormat and allow others to control the wedding, neither of which is a great thing!

Personally, I think I’ve managed to find a zone which works, at least most of the time.

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Shooting Each Other… Out of Love!

2 Oct

AUTHOR’S EDIT: If you guys don’t know my process, I write out my post a day or so before I put it up, re-read, edit, re-read, and then re-edit. This ensures that it flows well, it’s not too long (like some of my previous posts have been) and I don’t accidentally say something stupid. Unfortunately, I didn’t do that to this post and I’ve upset some people, so I’m going to make sure I stick with my process. Sorry to all those I’ve upset. I promise it won’t happen again.

Before I get into the fleshy part of this post, I’d first like to say that my bridesmaids have been supportive of me throughout this entire process. I sprung the “be my bridesmaid” thing on them, and luckily for me, they accepted. They’re all going through different stages of their life, including buying houses(!) and navigating through the ick that is breaking into corporate life. They are, honestly, the best girls I could ever ask for, and all of them are awesome in their own right.

Pretty recently I was told by my bridesmaids that they can’t throw me a Hen’s party, but they will be throwing me a Kitchen Tea. Despite the fact that – yeah – I was a little bummed, I totally understand why they can’t. Two of them are trying to or have just purchased a house (one for investment; the other to actually live in), one of them has only recently got a steady job which they are excited for, and another one of them is under the age of 16!

I am excited that they’ll be celebrating with me through a Kitchen Tea. I have the date but I’m not too sure what else is happening apart from tea, cupcakes, sandwiches, and, I think, games! It sounds like its gonna be fun, and I’m just waiting on details now. I appreciate all that these girls are doing for me! And I should really communicate this to them more often.

As an aside, I just found out the Kitchen Tea, Hen’s Night, and Bridal Shower are one-in-the-same, events going from morning-to-night to celebrate the bride’s last hurrah. I didn’t know that! Sounds exciting. 🙂

At the same time, GP isn’t exactly sure he’ll be having a Bucks. One of our friends offered, but they’ve only recently opened up their own store, so his schedule is pretty busy. The other is currently in Barcelona, Spain. And the third recently bought an apartment with his long-time girlfriend. A majority of GP’s groomsmen are in New Zealand (including his Best Man). So to GP, with all the busy that’s happening, and the distance from the majority of his side of the bridal party, that meant foregoing his Bucks.

To be completely honest, though I’m a little bummed that I won’t be getting a Hens, I’m okay to forego it. My bridesmaids will be planning something epic. I just feel bad ’cause GP – as far as we can tell – won’t be getting a Bucks.

And then last Sunday we went paintballing.

Now for those who haven’t gone paintballing, it’s – for lack of better word – awesome-as-nuts. It’s adrenaline-packed, gun-toting, Roadie-running fun!! After going through a few matches, shooting each other, and just having overall fun, GP and I decided that we really wanted to do this as a pre-wedding thing! And what better than a combined Bucks and Hens! In this way, we’d get the numbers from the combined group rather than a single Bucks party having to share it with a group of teenagers they don’t know (trust me – it’s not that fun…).

The only problem is we gotta figure out who would be willing to come, where to go, and whether or not we can have a ‘private’ paintballing party! I also want to include my little sister, Groom’s Homie Oddball, into the mix, but being 15, she’s just shy of the 16 age minimum.

What does everyone else think? Who would be willing to go on a combined Hens/Bucks and shoot each other with paintballs? 😀