Boozin’, Snoozin’, and Cruisin’

7 Mar

I’ve been hinting at a honeymoon post for a while, so I thought I’d finally tell you guys what we’re doing! Except, I won’t be telling you.  You see, hive, I didn’t plan the honeymoon – Mr Big did. So he has alllll the details. So without further ado, I introduce you, humble Hivemembers, to my husband, Mr Big:

G’day hive,

This is a special guest appearance from Mr Big, hijacking the blog of my beloved wife for just one post!

She asked me to write a bit about our honeymoon, and so I agreed to try my hand at this whole writing thing, it’s something I don’t normally do, but I’ll give it a go. In the words of Captain Hammer: Not my usual, but nice.

captain hammer_le douche

Captain Hammer, Corporate Tool. / Image from Ever On Word: The blog of author Danielle E. Shipley.

So when we first started talking about the honeymoon, I had this image in my head from a film starring one of this generations most underrated actors; Vin Diesel. The movie in question is called xXx and it’s not a porno, and while Vin Diesel may be underrated… this movie definitely isn’t. When this movie came out I decided to watch it because of: (a) Vin Diesel being awesome and (b) The bad guy is a Kiwi actor (Kiwi = ‘person from New Zealand’). Anyhow, the movie ends up with – SPOILER ALERT – Vin rescuing the girl and ending up in Bora Bora.

The ending of xXx, skip to 30 seconds to see Bora Bora, but please turn it off when Samuel L. Jackson starts talking, he’s normally good… I don’t know what went wrong here.

So anyway, where were we? Oh yeah, we were talking about honeymoons and not my incredibly poor taste in cinema! So when Mrs Big and I were talkin’ about places to go for a honeymoon, Bora Bora immediately came up. I love the idea of a bungalow over beautiful blue water, with a private pool, and perhaps with the possibility of me even getting some colour on my incredibly pale skin. Also having wife putting sun screen on me is a definite plus! (If you’ve watched that clip, you know what I mean.)

We were gradually creeping up on the wedding date, and so I got in touch with my favourite travel agent; my cousin!

Do we have a nickname for her Mrs Big? … OK, apparently we don’t have a nickname for her, I henceforth dub her “Cuz Travels Alot” (CTA for short, I work in the IT business, we need a 3 letter acronym for everything).

So I contact CTA with an itinerary of the things we’d like to do, and it’s basically like this:

  1. Go to Bora Bora
  2. Go to LA
  3. Go Home

Yep… not much in there to fill in the time, but we’d find some activities. I mean… what’s the point of going to Bora Bora if you’re not going to do the sunscreen thing, or going to LA without checking out Disneyland? (Yes, I’m aware there’s plenty more in LA, but really us folks from overseas just get most excited about seeing that, Universal, and – more recently – Legoland, as well as the possibility of running into <insert name of hot movie star here>)

CTA sent me back a quote including a few days in Bora Bora, and the flights, and it came to… a lot. Let’s just say that I could’ve bought a (decent, second hand) car for that kind of money! We hadn’t even factored in Disneyland, Universal, Legoland, or a Hollywood star tour that guarantees us to see <insert name of hot movie star here again>!

I called CTA and said that as awesome as she was, this was lookin’ pricey. Did she have any ideas for how we could cut it down and still get a reasonable length honeymoon? She said something to me that I hadn’t considered; “What about a cruise?” It was like the clouds had parted, light was shining down from heaven (I’m an Atheist, but let’s just go with the theme here), and destiny had struck me! It makes perfect sense; no luggage limit, no need to spring for hotels, and no paying for food!

Im-on-a-boat_lonely island

The wifey always breaks up her posts with lots of pictures, so I’m adding one too. I didn’t know what else to put, but because I love this song shamelessly, and I’m talking about a boat (ship) here… / Image from Wikipedia.

I began my investigation immediately, but it turns out that most of the cruises that come to Australia take you to – wait for it – other parts of Australia! Or even the incredibly exotic – wait for it – New Zealand. OK, a lot of the other cruises do visit Pacific islands that are nearby; New Caledonia, Vanuatu, and Fiji are favourites. Now I know that to folks who ain’t been down this way, those are actually some awesome destinations, and I cannot encourage everyone enough to come and see them… but when you’ve lived in Australia and New Zealand for your whole life… you tend to dream of cruising to farther places.

Eventually my searching bore fruit and I found out that when our weather starts getting crappy, the cruise ships all want to leave and return to warmer climes (who knew?). I found a cruise that begins in April and takes 29 days from Sydney to Vancouver, stopping in a lot of places in between. The crazy thing? A stateroom with your own private balcony costs the same amount as one-way flights and hotel from Sydney to LA via Bora Bora staying for 8 days. So we get a honeymoon that’s at least 3 times longer, for the same price, and we never even have to move our luggage around!

honeymoon itinerary

Our cruise. If you’re really interested, there’s more details here, please don’t mug us when we get off the ship. / Image taken from the Holland America website.

We went to a cruise expo that was held in Sydney a short time after making our discovery, and we thought that we’d learn more about this cruising thing. It turns out that the cruise line we were looking at was quite luxurious, and was mostly targeted at an older audience.

The Oosterdam

The cruise ship we’ll be taking. You can’t repel fire… uh, ship, of that magnitude! / Photo taken by Mrs Big.

They weren’t really targeting the younger, party-going crowd… GREAT! We ain’t geriatric or anything, but Mrs Big and I aren’t really the partying type, 29 days of peace and quiet sounds awesome to us! We ended up booking just a few days later.

We’re excited, and in just over a month we’ll be boarding a ship bound for some of the most beautiful islands on earth, and then finishing up in gorgeous Canada. We haven’t really figured out what happens next though. We’ve got a friend or two in Canada that we’d love to catch up with, and we’re considering going on tour through the USA. We’re hoping to have all of the details worked out soon (sorting it out before we get on the boat seems like a good idea to me).

I know that Mrs Bighorn always ends up her posts with some questions… so here goes:

What do you think of our (partial) honeymoon plans? If all of the members of One Direction were drowning, and you could only save one, what cocktail would you order? Is orange really the new pink?

And that, hive, is my wonderful husband!

We’re both excited to be going on the cruise. Our ship is HUGE! Twenty-nine glorious days at sea among the Pacific Islands (and further!).

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